Wedding Envy: Is It Happening to Me?

Oh my gosh, her shoes, I love them! The heels, the sparkles, the lace! Look at that bunting, so perfect! Cake pops and a vintage vanity sitting in a meadow, with a strategically placed barn in the distance, with fairytale turquoise doors, grinning newlyweds and a horse. A HORSE*! A Notebook inspired wedding – ahhhhh! It’s almost too much for me to bear!

And I snap back to reality. Please give me a minute to get my feet back on the ground. One, two, there we go…

I spend my life in front of a computer. Working, doing schoolwork, writing – always in front of a computer. So, unable to break my habit of following my favorite wedding blogs post-nuptials (Offbeat Bride, Ruffled, The Broke-Ass Bride, DIY Bride, to name a few), I often find myself gazing through pages and pages of real weddings. I scroll through amazing dream dresses, colorful couples full of character, artisan hand-crafted decor and desserts that would make even Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, jealous. I see whimsical woodland weddings and beautiful, beachy weddings, rustic barn weddings and fancy golf course weddings. You picking up what I’m putting down? Good.

Anyway, I catch myself comparing these weddings to mine and, sometimes, I ask myself the question that no new bride ever, EVER, wants to ask herself: do I have wedding envy?

I imagine that most new (and maybe even not-so-new) brides feel the same way sometimes. As time passes, we long to go back to the happy times; the times that made us laugh, cry, scream, stress and feel. We long to go back to a time that made us feel alive. And, for so many of us, our weddings provide this needed escape. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the full definition of envy is “painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage.”

Though I am aware of the beautiful and amazing and OMG weddings in existence, I do not consider those brides and grooms to have an advantage over anyone else, especially my husband and I. And I mean absolutely no disrespect to any newlyweds out there because those weddings were their weddings, perfect for them. We all have our own quirks and idiosyncrasies that make us who we are and those are the things that make weddings so wonderful. It’s the little things, the reflections of two personalities destined to spend their lives as one. If we lose sight of those, then what do we really have left?

The second part of the definition of envy deals with having “a desire to possess the same advantage.” Aside from not considering advantage to be a factor here, I also would not say that I have a desire to possess said advantage. What’s perfect for one couple may not be the right thing for another couple. My husband and I had the wedding that we wanted, that fit us, that suited us, that meant something to us and that we created with our own hands. And it was truly magnificent.

Photo by John Munson | Beacon Photography

Photo by John Munson | Beacon Photography

And I mean that. Not only did our crafting, building, painting, sawing, sewing, wire-tying, glue-gunning, pinning, cutting, designing, baking, glazing, drawing and paper-cutting (and thus blistering and bleeding) add to the decor and feel of our wedding, it also brought us closer together. We spent months making everything perfect for us. So to answer the question I’ve been asking myself lately, despite what it might seem like, I am happy to announce that I am most certainly, awesomely, definitely not suffering from wedding envy! I wouldn’t change a thing about our wedding even if I could… because it was ours. Our first of many endeavors as a married couple. And the boost I needed, and thus my handy hubby needed, to dive into the life of domestic DIY!

*Silly bit of info: Horse was my first word.